so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
