I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
