hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
