I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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