STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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