So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i was born a porn star she said
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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