He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
