he puts the penis in happiness.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
