did you get engaged???
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
