whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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