i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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