Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
