Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
