There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
