so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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