I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
