Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
