your room smells of hookers.
And success
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
