Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
