I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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