Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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