Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
