she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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