Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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