I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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