Fine. I'll sleep in my office
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Found the puke drawer
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
