That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
