so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
NoShamevember. You game?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
