Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
