Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
