The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I can't turn off my feet"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
