If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
