you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
