I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
