Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
as a side note pls kill me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize