we have pet lesbian snakes
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
