i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
