SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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