theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
