It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
