I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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