I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize