I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
