btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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