Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize