Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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