he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
All I want is dick and wine.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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