we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
