I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
