Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
