none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
