I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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