At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
