I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
