I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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