I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
