there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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