I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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