I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
