So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
