Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
last night I used snow as a chaser
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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