the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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