too bad you live with your parents still
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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