I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
