..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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