i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
